A week ago the state of New York legalised same sex marriage for their 20 million residents. On the same day the West Australian ALP passed a motion supporting marriage equality. Both these events show the increasing support around the world and in Australia for full marriage equality.

As a Queenslander living in New York with my US same sex partner, you would assume that we could marry in New York where same sex marriage is now legal. However, to our dismay and disgust, this is not the case. For any Australian to marry overseas they must produce a Certificate of Non Impedance (CNI) to prove they are not already married. These are routinely issued to Australians wanting to marry an opposite sex partner, but are denied to Australians wanting to marry a same sex partner. Therefore, Ruth and I are prevented from marrying here in New York or in any other State or Country where same sex marriage is legal.

Due to the fact that the Australian Government refuses to provide CNI’s to same gender couples, Ruth and I (and thousands of Australians) are not able to marry the person we love, in a jurisdiction that decided by due democratic process to allow same sex marriage. This is totally shameful and disgraceful behaviour by the Australian Government to interfere with and prevent democratic processes in overseas jurisdictions. What purpose does the denying of CNI’s to gays and lesbians serve, other than pure discrimination?

Even in cases of extreme human rights abuses and state sanctioned genocide, Australia is often reluctant to interfere with the internal processes of another country. Yet here, where no harm is inflicted on anyone, our government interferes and prevents democratic processes prevailing. How dare Australia interfere in this manner! This is an offensive and shameful abuse of power.

The fact that same sex marriage was only defined as illegal in the Australian Marriage Act as recently as 1996 is predominantly forgotten or overlooked. Nevertheless, all same sex marriages performed legally overseas would immediately become invalid upon return to Australia. Therefore, what is the purpose of preventing Australians and their same sex partner from marrying overseas. This policy is even more ludicrous when Australian or bi-national couples reside abroad.

The Netherlands in its wisdom has seen the inhumanity and cruelty of this decision by the Australian Government, and allows Australians to marry a Dutch same sex partner without producing a CNI.

We expect our Parliamentarians and legislators to do the right thing and act to allow CNI’s to be issued to all Australians as a matter of urgency.

Marriage equality will permit Ruth and I and other LGBT people to uphold the values of marriage and enjoy the rights, protections and benefits automatically afforded to millions of Australians. I do not support discriminatory ‘civil unions’ as a substitute for full marriage equality. Equality cannot be diluted. Separate is NEVER equal.

When full marriage equality is achieved, religious bodies, organisations and institutiions will remain free to choose who they do and do not marry.

Aussies have a proud progressive history as leaders towards equality and greater respect for all. From the fight for women’s suffrage, indigenous reconciliation and the struggle for civil rights, Australians, for the most part, have been on the right side of history – indeed Australians have MADE history. However, on the issue of Marriage Equality, tragically, Australia has lagged behind.

Same gender couples are denied rights that others take for granted. In Australia, same gender couples are denied hundreds of Federal, State and Local rights that are afforded to millions of others. The opportunity to provide and care for one another with legal protection, the freedom to express our lifelong commitment and the basic dignity of having that relationship recognized by the States, Territories and Country we call home.

This is simply a matter of fairness and equality. It is not a question of religion, culture or tradition, but a question of legal rights and government policy. When it comes to fighting for what’s right and fair dinkum, Australians proudly lead the way, and Marriage Equality is just the next chapter of our civil rights story. It is hard to imagine today, but at one time it was illegal in our nation for an interracial couple to marry, and in my own grandparents lifetime, interfaith marriages were severely stigmatised. We have come a long way, and now it is time to go even further. Therefore, legislators and their colleagues in a position to take a stand and make a difference, simply must support marriage equality.

LGBT couples across Australia and around the world want to marry, to publicly share their love and commitment with one another, and with their friends and family. As a bi-national same gender couple for many years, it is imperative that marriage equality be recognised at both the State and Federal levels for innumerable reasons, including the critically important immigration rights which will be granted to prevent Ruth and I being torn apart. Without marriage equality, thousands of same gender couples, including Ruth and I, will be required to choose whether to live together abroad in exile, or be ripped apart. Not only is marriage equality the ‘right thing to do’, as the CEO of Morgan Stanley recently stated, it’s ‘good for business’ as well. Fair go, Equal means Equal. Thousands of us are united by love, but divided by law. Thanks, Simone L. Petersen & Ruth Acosta